Someone from my past hasn't made me shake like that in almost 2 years. I don't know why it was this time. Why walking into the restaurant was so heart-wrenching for me. The way you looked at me - were you looking at a person you know you have power over, proud of your conquering, or were you trying to read someone you know you have no business coming back to see or talk to, and yet something in you moves you to do so every time? Were you trying to figure out why even though we all know the answer?
Everyone shakes their head, sighs and walks away from me before they've even given me the chance to tell them what I really think. The new girl said it's written all over me. I guess I haven't managed to convince myself that what I'm trying to say is what I really feel. And I guess I'm as much of an open book as ever.
Maybe that's why I've lost control again. I'm trying to prove to myself that I can figure it out, I am better than that and there's something out there for me...but it's not working. It's just helping to jade me more.
I don't trust the new one. I'm waiting and watching for what he isn't going to like, for why he'll just up and vanish one day. I went on a date with someone else a few days after seeing him just to detach myself from the idea of him a little bit. It was nice, I had fun, but it was immature...and then I found him again.
Truth: I think he's awesome but I can't read him and that terrifies me. The people I thought I could read turned around and stabbed me in the back, so what is someone I can't read capable of?
http://youtu.be/01Du8S6Tksw
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