Give me a C

So...it happened. I broke down. Julee caught me crying and it was done. I wasn't allowed to take class and then I was whisked off to the chiropractor.

All by myself.

I am terrified of chiropractors, which is part of the reason I've never been. And all I kept thinking was, "Oh I so am not wearing the right kind of underwear for this." But that wound up not mattering. I could keep my pants on.

And the Dr. was so nice to me. He and the receptionist couldn't understand why I'd put it off for so long.

No one should have to just deal with that kind of pain.

You're only 21. You should not be falling apart already.

I couldn't help but smirk when he said that. Yup, that's precisely how I feel. Why don't you take that up with God for me?

So the morning from hell. I cried for at least 45 minutes, heartbroken that I wasn't dancing and gasping every time I had to move. I couldn't hide it. Then sheer terror. Then my life flashing before my eyes as my bones cracked. Then walking and rediscovering legs with no pain. Damage control through the department. Being told I look like I need a nap. Excellent. No time for a nap. Final diamond scholars day...essentially now.

So, if I tried to sum up the past 9 months of this...what could I say? It's been exhausting. It's taken over my life. It's become something extremely close to my heart. I'm not sure I can let this go. It's transformed me. Everyone can see that. I am stronger. I am more myself than I have ever been. I can admit that I'm whiny and emotional at times...and you know what? That's okay.

And this morning, the universe took control and showed me how strong my support group is. I had more than a handful of people genuinely concerned for me, and happy that I finally went and got checked out. A handful of those people actually took the situation out of my hands for me, knowing that I couldn't do it on my own.

I'm so lucky to know all of you.